Lord of the Rings Review–Co-starring Sister

Hello everyone! Happy Star Wars Day!

*Checks title of post*

Oops. Wrong fandom. 

Anyway, today I am coming to you with a FUN blog post! As the title indicates, Sister will be in here! Sister, say hi.

Hey everybody.

Sister’s replies will be in bold, and I will be typing them to stay as close to what she actually said as possible. Be prepared for weirdness. Today I’ll be interviewing her about the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy.

Do not read this if you haven’t watched the Lord of the Rings Movie Trilogy! SPOILERS ABOUND! Also, GIF overload

So, two weeks ago, we watched all three of the Lord of the Rings movies with our brother DJ. What was your first impression of the Fellowship of the Ring?

Um…kind of cool, kind of bleh. How wrong I was!

Why was it bleh?

Um, I mean…the introduction–you know, the part with old Bilbo–was kind of boring. And then it seemed pretty cliched. And then it seemed…um…boring. But then I started loving it.

I’m cancelling your birthday present order.

Aww!

Just kidding! What did you think of Frodo?

OK! *Screams and claps hands loudly* So, at first, I thought he was creepy because he had these huge–no, he had these relatively big blue eyes.

I love his big blue eyes! Weirdo.

K…

Continue, sorry for that.

Um…then I thought he was pretty cool. Yeah, you know? It took me, like, a week to get over the creepiness though.

Is that it?

Yeah. Pretty much. OH! In Two Towers, um, I got mad at him because he was saying ‘go home, Sam,’ and Sam was the best guy and Frodo needed Sam and…*waves arms crazily* yeah.

OK then! Which was your favorite of the movies and why?

*Before I even finish talking* Return of the King. Um, I liked it because, like with Battle of the Five Armies in the Hobbit, it was closure *flimsily clasps hands.* And also it was so intense and…it was so intense and kept you at the end of your seat. *Laughs* I sound like a dum-dum. *Laughs again.*

You always sound like this.

It’s true, but it sounds worse in writing.

Yeah, but anyway, who are your top five favorite characters?

*Again, before I finish talking* OK, OK, OK. *Slaps legs* Um..

1. Legolas and Aragorn

They’re not one person, silly.

I don’t care! They’re both first!

That’s because you have crushes on them. 🙂

Anyway. 

2. Pippin

Why? 

Because…he’s funny! And he has good character development!

OK then! Moving on.

3. FARAMIR!

P.S. She has a crush on him, too.

You like him because…why? Other than you think he’s cute

Um, he’s serious. He’s, like, the only serious…I mean no. No! Take that back! I take it back! *Giggles as I write it down anyway* Um…*falls over on trash can she’s using for a chair and laughs like a maniac* OK. Because he’s…he’s honorable, and he is, well, I mean he has an…um…a bad family. If you use pity on me it usually works to make someone my favorite.

Ah. Do I need to get you therapy?

No.

OK then. Who’s four?

*Gasps, claps, and screams* SMEAGOL!

He’s not cute, if that’s why you’re going to say he’s your favorite!

He is! He’s like a baby, he’s so cute. He has like…*makes weird hand circles around her eyes* BIG EYES! He’s so cute. *Giggles*

OK then. Whatever floats your boat.

Get rid of that part. The giggles. *Giggles*

Ah…no. *Laughs maniacally*

*Giggles even harder*

OK. So…next? Five?

Five? Théoden. He’s so cool. Blebleble! Start over, start over. *Laughs* 

Um, OK, yeah. Apart from his bad decisions to go to Helm’s Deep instead of…instead of, um…instead of staying, he was a pretty good king and he loved his niece so much. *Sniffs*

And then he died. 

That is a spoiler, but yes.

Yeah. Anyways, who’s your favorite female character?

*Breathes deeply* Um, Arwen or Eowyn. 

THAT’S LITERALLY PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE FEMALE CAST!

Well, I only have one more question. What was your favorite part out of all three movies? Wait, did I ask that already?

No. You asked movie.

Like that makes any sense.

*Laughs like a maniac*

OK then.

*Laughs even harder, then practically explodes laughing*

*Addressing you* She does that a lot. *Smacks her*

Ow! *Laughs* No. Ok. Ahem. Um…*long silence as she mutters to herself*…um, OK. Probably…ow…*laughs like a maniac once more* Um, OK. The whole part where, like, Sam and Frodo were in Mordor until they got swept up by the eagles because it was *presses hand to heart* so gut-wrenching.

I love that part! Especially the strawberries part.

Oh, I know!

Meanwhile, on the topic of review, I’m going to go over some of the content concern (I don’t know if that’s really a term) in this trilogy. As you’d expect from a PG-13 fantasy trilogy that centers on a war, there’s a lot of violence. Decapitation, stabbing, the usual. While there’s almost too much to go over in a post, there are a few specific scenes. In the infamous ‘looks like meat’s back on the menu’ part, the orcs kill one of their own and, although you don’t see the body or anything too graphic, you see the frenzied orcs tossing their fallen comrade’s intestines in the air. At Helm’s Deep, an explosion blows up a chunk of the fortress’s wall, and you can see bodies flying. When Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are searching for Merry and Pippin, they come across a smoldering pile of orc bodies. Heads are staked on poles, and Aragorn kicks an orc head in frustration.

There’s not much sexual content to be concerned about here. Some women wear (slightly) revealing dresses, but the main concern for me was in the Two Towers. Grima Wormtongue is creepily obsessed with Eowyn, and is promised her in exchange for working for Saruman. He attempts to seduce Eowyn, but is soundly rejected. Aragorn and Arwen kiss.

A few characters smoke pipes and drink beer.

So, thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, then you might like another movie commentary I did with Sister about The Hobbit here. I hope you are staying safe, and finally I get to say this!

May the Fourth be with you!

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